That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
