And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
