hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
