I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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