is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
