Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I forget how to act sober
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
