so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize