I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
