this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
are you so shy because you have an std?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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