i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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