Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
