He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I think i peed on brittanys purse
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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