YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
