Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize