They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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