this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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