FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
