So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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