Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Randomize
