Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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