Got a toothbrush?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
