I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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