Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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