I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize