Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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