He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
