Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
