If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I stole a fireplace last night.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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