in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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