Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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