I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
