apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
