you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
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