Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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