i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
