I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize