Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
