I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
This is the high leading the old right now
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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