Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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