Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
