I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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