I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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