I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
