oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
