Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
