i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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