all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
