I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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