i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
