My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
