The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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