she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
