you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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