You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
