one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
