wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
