no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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