a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
