Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize