Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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