The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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