She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
