what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
