nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
