her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
