i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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