Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
