I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
