Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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