in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
