It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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