I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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