Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
