i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
