its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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