She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
